Sorrow
by LAIsobel
Summary: Daniel is left with only one feeling. Sorrow. Join him.


**AN** - A long time ago I had the privilege to see an amazing painting of friend's mother. Thank you Alia for giving me the chance! And now I found what I had written back then after the powerful experience. Let's see what you think about it. It's three part story, parts one and three are written, part two is in the process of being written. I picked Daniel as the main character but well you can probably find even other characters (and from different shows) that could be the hero of this little story of emotion. Only shame is that I can't show you the painting.

**Timeline** - let's say pre-show - and you'll understand once the saga is complete. Or you tell me it could fit somewhere else ;o)

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><p><strong>SORROW<strong>

He stopped when he finally couldn't hear anything. He stopped and the only sound was his fast breathing, his heart beating frantically in his chest. Refusing to notice the tears on his face and in his eyes, blurring his vision only a bit now, he looked out ahead. And there it was. The desert.

Wide, welcoming and most of all – far away from everything, from the pain and sorrow.

Still not believing that it had actually happened, he knew he had to go, he had to leave, he had to disappear. Losing somebody he loved was tragic. But losing all of them at once like this, it was something he couldn't accept, couldn't survive. One moment he was happy and hoping, waiting for his child to be born and the other his heart was ripped apart in his chest and his soul broke into million pieces. He fell apart. Nothing had ever hurt more than hearing that they were gone, both of them.

Knowing there would be nothing to soothe his pain and heal his deep wounds, he packed some of his things, just the bare necessities and took a camel to travel on. Not that he had anything against horses but somehow, something in him was screaming at his face that on a quest like this there was no place for a horse.

And so here he was, suffering, in pain, desperate, lost, trying to find a way how to survive, knowing that the only place that could offer some solitude and eventually peace was the desert. It had to be the desert.

Leaving his people should have hurt more. It should have been worse. But there was nothing left for him there, with them, among them, just sorrow and pity over his fate, over the fate of those he loved so dearly. It was not fair. He knew life was not fair but this was too much. It should not have happened. Not now, not ever. He just couldn't face all the others, there was no strength in him to do so.

The desert was welcoming, dark and unknown. The wind was caressing his face, brushing away the tears, calming him. The silver moon above his head was his only witness and companion. He needed no more. The sky was dark and so beautiful. Blue melting with grey and silver with black and all the shades in between, like a symphony, creating something he would always remember as the perfect picture of divinity and purity. It made him take a deep breath and calm down a bit.

The dull pain in his chest, the desperation, it was not leaving him, and he knew it never would but for a moment there he could feel the worst of it slipping away with the wind and remaining heat from the sun.

There had to be something… somewhere… it had to.

He knew his heart would never be fully healed, he knew he would never forget about his past and about those he had lost and he also knew that it was supposed to be like that. But he dared to hope for a moment of peace, sometimes in the future, under the bright moon or heated sun, in the wind or in the rain, that didn't matter. But if he could choose then it would be under the moon with wind not strong but noticeable. That was the weather she used to love the most.

Looking forward, feeling there was nothing behind him worth living for, hoping his future was there, ahead of him among the dunes, he urged his camel to move. They were not running anymore. There was no need to. Now they were becoming part of the desert. There was no rush. They would blend in, they would disappear and perhaps a miracle would happen like in the old stories her father used to tell him and he would find his peace – somewhere – at last.

It was just the desert and him alone with his memories and love for those that he had lost too soon and, those that would be in his arms again, one day again. It was just the desert and him and his deep sorrow ripping him apart.


End file.
